Don’t say you’re Harry – a two act farce script

farce script


In this two act, full length farce script, Snake and Harry, two professional diamond thieves gatecrash the funeral of Miss Amelia Devonport, who was the late owner of the fabulous Devonport diamonds.  Snake and Harry plan to impersonate relatives of the late Miss Devonport in order to get information on the diamonds and where they could be hidden in the old Devonport mansion. Then they plan to steal the famous stones.

Unbeknownst to Snake and Harry, two cops, Capt. Theunis van Staden and his young partner, John Smith have also gatecrashed the same funeral, and are, um, also posing as relatives. The two policemen received an ‘anonymous tip’ earlier in the week that led them to believe that two thieves, masquerading as relatives of the deceased, would crash the funeral and steal the diamonds.  Their task: to find the location of the famous stones, and use them as bait to trap the diamond thieves into revealing themselves.

It all gets rather complicated when each one of them decides to call himself ‘John Smith’ in this hilarious farce script.


Elgin Theatre Guild, ON, Canada – 2020

The author will allow workshopping of this script.

Claire Linda Demmer is a small festival award winning playwright, whose plays have sold internationally.  A one act version of the same script ,  ‘A cut above the rest,’ has been published previously.

Author: Claire Linda Demmer

Genre: Comedy, farce

Type: Full length two act play

Length: 90 minutes

Actors: 5M (males, men) ,  3 F (females, women),  maid and guests.(2-4)

Ages of actors: Late twenties (20s) up to late seventies (70s)

Set:  Lounge with a coffin on a dais, with a set of stairs upstage right and a door leading the the kitchen on the lower level stage right, and another door leading to the parlour upstage left.  The front door is downstage left. Various chairs are set around the room for the funeral.

Level of difficulty: 8/10 timing of the farce.

Read a Sample of the script

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Cost is $9.00 for this produced digital script. Just Click Shakespeare!

Contact Off The Wall Plays with any queries about Don’t say you’re Harry

Copyright  July 2012 Claire Demmer Off The Wall Plays

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